Party of one

     When I tell people that I’ll be traveling alone, I get a myriad of responses and facial expressions.  There’s the simple concerned face of people like my mother who are genuinely concerned that a rando at a gas station is going to abduct and murder me.  Let me start by saying that this could happen anywhere at any point in time and quite frankly if someone wants to abduct and murder me, it’s not going to matter if I’m rolling solo or with someone else.  Bad things happen daily unfortunately, and I’m not one to sit and cower in fear.  It’s not worth it. 

     There are also lots of confused faces wondering if I will be lonely. I planned an 18 day trip by myself traveling national and state parks throughout the US. First of all, let me clarify that none of these places are empty.  It’s July; there are lots of folks everywhere.  And I have made casual, friendly conversation with people everywhere. There were the travelers in line at security; the mom traveling with 2 small children (praise her); and then the other solo wanderers you encounter at the campsites. There are a lot of us.  It’s not just me who sets out on her own to wander solo.  

      But let me also take a minute to speak on this concept of loneliness. Am I lonely? OF COURSE! There are times where I wish I had someone to talk to in the car (but then I just typically talk to myself) or to share this crazy experience with right there in the moment (like when I couldn’t finish dinner last night). But this feeling is natural and okay.  It is okay to feel lonely and to wish that you had someone to share this time with. However, I also think you need to sit there, see your loneliness, and fiercely embrace it.  Why as a society are we so terrified at being alone? At seeing things from only our own perspective? To experience life through our own eyes and not someone else’s? 

     I’d also like to ponder as to why we equate loneliness with sadness.  Is it not possible for us to feel that loneliness, but to also be genuinely elated with our current situation? Why has society told us we must have a person to make us feel genuinely happy and fulfilled? Are there scientific studies on this? I’m sure there probably are because obviously confining prisoners to solitary is apparently a successful strategy (though I’m not sure I totally believe it). But to live your daily life without a person, to see friends and family when you like but to also be able to sit alone, reflecting in silence ... this I feel like is a rarity in society that few understand. I also think it’s a quality that should be empowered and not diminished. To sit alone and to calm your mind makes you stronger, and society should not see this as those alone as being weak. 

    So folks, am I lonely at times? Totally. I’m also over the moon with how free I feel. To be able to roam alone is a beautiful gift that I hope each of you may experience at some point in your life.